New Beginnings...

To Pre,
As always, my journal's name is Pre. I don't care if you're a notebook or an online database, you'll follow me wherever my thoughts roam, Pre. Anyway, I thought I would start up with writing again because it's important and it's also a sense of release. I have so many things running through my head, quite possibly doing more running than I do. Impossible though it seems, I know. College is starting up soon and I think I should feel more excited than I am, but I have so much anxiety of the 'what-ifs' and what-nots. I'm scared of making friends and I'm not sure where me and my roommate, Kelly stand. I think she is nice, we haven't hung out on terms besides running really which makes it difficult for me to learn what kind of a person she really is. It's good to know that if we have many differences, we can always find our commonground on running. I think I'd hope for someone who I would instantly click with. Someone who I know would be my "sole"mate and I could imagine ourselves sipping coffee together 40 years down the line. I felt that way with Becky. She's a girl also on the team that I met at orientation. I know that we are going to be great friends next year. I like her a lot. I still wish I had chosen her as my roommate but maybe I'm just not giving Kelly a chance. The truth is, I think Kelly is really nice and cool (from what I can tell). I just don't think she likes me. Maybe that's just me being me. She is more outgoing than I am, and could quite possibly have twice the income my parents have. She's from Fair Haven which is one of the most prestigious towns in all of New Jersey. Rich bitch. Well not bitch, I haven't had a chance to tell if she's a bitch. I think I'm overreacting. Because things don't go as you plan, doesn't mean they go the wrong way, right? I think I'll be fine once college starts up. I'm still in Jersey, but sometimes I wish I went further away to experience life and all. Sometimes I also question running, like maybe I think I should stop and see other parts of life. I shouldn't question my decisions now because it's all far too late for that and though I will probably end up happy and content in the path I've chosen, I'll always wonder "what-if"... Well I'll leave it as this right now. I already feel better about myself. Running is part of me, I think. I think it's what I've been put here to do. In fact I hope it is, because if I get to heaven and God tells me otherwise, I'll punch him right square in the teeth for having me log in all those miles for nothing. I'd love to do well this season, though my head is in so many places at once. I need to just settle down and settle my thoughts because every day will bring something new. A new experience and new ideas. But unfortunately for me, not a new roommate. So here goes nothing, the countdown to adulthood... 24 days until college.
Sweet Dreams,
Jenn